Time again to check on our aims
Aim One
Aim one is to hack off one of my legs, marry Sir Paul McCartney, divorce him and then pocket £23 million as well as entitling me to disability living allowance for life
Aim Two
Aim two is to provide pubs with a calculator so they can work out exactly how much their prices should have increased by because of the budget rather than simply adding 10p to the cost of every drink whether the budget increased it or not
Aim Three
Aim three is to transfer the BBC show Dragons Den over to Channel 5 by replacing all the dragons with real dragons and then seeing how many entrepreneurs can survive with their inventions intact
Aim Four
Aim four is to hack off one of my legs and then beat Heather Mills McCartney to death with it for being so greedy and money grabbing
Aim Five
Aim five is to finally upload pictures of Alex onto this blog so Yvonne will stop nagging me!
And now lets see how Nostradamus has done this month
Prediction one was "There will be a holiday designed merely to enrich the greeting card industry some time this month"..... not one but two with Mothers day and Easter gets Nosty off to a flying start
Prediction two was "The bloke living above us will have a 7th stereo seized by environmental health this month and in a shocking twist, will actually learn from his mistakes and not bother replacing it within a matter of hours"...... amazingly he didn't though he's probably too busy packing to play his stereo loud every day (though he did some days still)
Prediction three was "Locusts will descend upon Leicester and consume the entire population"...... The people of Leicester still live
So no Barbecue again with just 1 right. However 2 out of 3 of this months predictions will win the Barbecue next month
Prediction One
A major Government department will lose people’s personal data
Prediction Two
The job centre will mess up at least one of our benefit payments this month
Prediction Three
Blood will pour from the sky and a cat will give birth to a snake