Dave Thorp's Blog

Once again it is time to take a look at our aims

Aim One

Aim one is to address the smokers that are still moaning about the smoking ban and tell them “it’s been a year, just get over it…. or failing that give up smoking and live longer so you can find more things to whinge about”

Aim Two

Aim Two is to remind chavvy kids on buses that their MP3 phones actually come supplied with a set of headphones by stapling them to their heads

Aim Three

Aim Three is to replace Gladiator Oblivion with someone badder, scarier and more competent as a Gladiator. Ghandi for example

Aim Four

Aim Four is to deal with chavvy kids on buses blasting out techno dance crap on their MP3 phones on buses under some misguided belief that other passengers want to listen to their crap by shoving the phones right up their arses…… and then stapling the headphones to their heads

Aim Five

Aim Five is to blame England’s failure to qualify for Euro 2008 on the smoking ban. After all the smoking ban is apparently the cause of all the rest of the worlds problems…. least from the point of view of the smokers

And with Summer here will Nostradamus ever be able to eat under cooked sausages and burgers off his nice shiny new barbecue. Lets find out

Prediction One was “A group of social misfits all desperate for fame will be locked into the confines of a small house and garden and made to perform a variety of stupid and pointless tasks by a disembodied relative all in the name of entertainment”….. and the news said yes as big brother 2008 started

Prediction Two was “Serial womaniser Russel Brand will come out and admit to a gay love affair with George Michael”…… and the news said….. Nope, though George must be the only person he hasn’t had sex with

Prediction Three was “Gladiator Inferno will pop out of her costume and it will be shown in full on Sky One (and available from a torrent site near you should you be one of the 55 million people in the country who can’t get sky one)”….. and the news said nope. It almost defies the laws of nature and man (or woman) but somehow she remains in her costume….. just

One out of three yet again means no barbecue. However there is always next month

Prediction One

Some one will be removed from the big brother house for breaking the rules (again)

Prediction Two

No rain will fall in Preston this month

Prediction Three

Wimbledon will be won by a fish and we shall all eat chips with salt and vinegar in celebration