Dave Thorp's Blog

A bit late but here are this months aims

Aim One

Aim one is to deal with the problem of shops putting up Christmas merchandise a whole 3 months before the ghastly event by employing a fat, bearded man in a red suit to go round the shops setting fire to all the merchandise

Aim Two

Aim two is to tell anyone complaining about the new look facebook that it is just a website and they should get a life

Aim Three

Aim three is to solve the credit crunch problem by employing a fat, bearded man in a red suit to go round all the banks setting fire to all the money destroying the worlds economy and forcing the world to abandon capitalism and then fail to pay the man as all the worlds money has just been destroyed

Aim Four

Aim four is to sack everyone working for the Jobcentre Plus and replace them with a bunch of super intelligent monkeys therefore improving the efficiency and competency with which benefit claims are processed tenfold

Aim Five

Aim five is to solve the problem of people complaining about the new look facebook by rounding them all up, then employing a fat, bearded man in a red suit to set fire to them all

With the weather taking a turn for the worse, will Nosty ever be able to give himself food poisoning on his very own barbecue. Let’s find out by reviewing last months predictions

Apple will release a software update for the iPhone 3G….. Yes they did as version 2.1 of the software was released

Following the software update every single iPhone 3G user will stop complaining just because their phone can’t emulate a kitchen sink…. afraid not, there’s no pleasing some people I guess

A kitchen sink feature will be added to the iPhone 3G…. washing up is about the only thing the phone can’t do…. well washing up and MMS…. well washing up, MMS and video calling…. well washing up, MMS, video calling and text message forwarding…. well…. I could go on but either way the prediction was wrong

No barbecue this month but lets see if he can win it next month by getting just two out of three of these predictions right

Prediction One

A house somewhere in Preston will put their Christmas decorations up despite the fact that it is still well over two months until the event

Prediction Two

Gordon Brown will resign as Prime Minister

Prediction Three

The third coming of Jesus Christ will occur some time this month (the first coming being the one in the bible and the second coming being Harold Bishop from Neighbours)