Dave Thorp's Blog

Once again let’s look at our aims

Aim One

Aim one is to exploit the search hit popularity that certain contestants from Deal or No Deal have by releasing a brand new calendar of the hotties of Deal or No Deal and making millions

Aim Two

Aim Two is to persuade the church to move Christmas into July which is when all the shops seem to think it is

Aim Three

Aim Three is to take full advantage of the VAT saving off my O2 bill by treating myself to an extra 3 tins of rola beans a month

Aim Four

Aim Four is to move Gordon Ramsay’s Cookalong Live to channel 5 following the revelations he has been allegedly cheating on his wife Tana and change the shows name to Gordon Ramsay’s F**kalong Live

Aim Five

Aim Five is to celebrate the return of Gladiators to our screens this Christmas by making it compulsory for Inferno to take part in every event until she finally pops out of her costume

It’s that cold that Nosty will only be able to serve frozen meat on his very own barbecue. But only if he got two out of three of this months predictions right

At least one member of Stuart Thorp’s family will forget his birthday…. amazingly yes they did. I wont bother naming names, they know who they are and I bet they didn’t forget their fake son’s birthday so forgetting their own flesh and bloods birthday only proves my point!

Russell Brand will reveal that as well as having slept with Andrew Sachs’ granddaughter, he has also slept with Andrew Sachs…. Andrew is one of the few people on this planet that Russell hasn’t slept with

This month will be hotter than it was during summer this year…. you are kidding right???? It’s BLOODY FREEZING!!!!!

So once again Nosty fails to win the barbecue. But perhaps next month he will get just two out of three of these predictions right and finally win the prize he has sought after for so long.

Prediction One

A member of Stuart and Alexander Thorp’s family wont bother getting them anything for Christmas

Prediction Two

The Christian Church will realise that they actually got the date of Jesus’ birth wrong and move Christmas to July

Prediction Three

It will rain frogs and ants will devour the entire world