Dave Thorp's Blog

The daily mail has launched yet another hate campaign this time directed at children’s TV presenter Cerrie Burnell who is on the CBeebies channel. They beleive that as she was born with one arm she might scare children. This is something me and Yvonne have discussed with Yvonne thinking she shouldn’t be on the TV and me not seeing what all the fuss is about. Personally I think the daily mail should lay off her as she is ‘armless enough (sorry bad pun I know).

Anyway as the daily mail believes she is scaring kids, I’m going to take a minute to examine some other kids shows and how they could scare kids.

Teletubbies

A bunch of alien like creatures with TVs implanted into their stomachs try to hug each other to death or drown in tubby custard all under the watchful gaze of the most frightening child ever being burned alive in the sun

Handy Manny

A repair man and his drug induced halluciagenic tools that can talk and fix things all by themselves do repair jobs that anyone can do. Oh and everyone knows he fancies Kelly but she wont go near him till he is off the drugs

Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs

A kid has a bucket that sends him to a magical world full of monsters and dinosaurs. No wonder children don’t like mopping!

Bear in the big blue house

A giant frickin bear…. in a giant frickin blue house…. singing songs with the moon. If that isn’t frightening I don’t know what is!

Thomas the Tank Engine

Trains with faces that can talk… drive themselves (though they still have a driver) and heaven forbid they cause “confusion and delay” and incurr the wrath of the “nutritionally challenged controller”

My Friends Tigger and Pooh

Tigger and Pooh solve mysteries that aren’t that mysterious. Not that frightening for kids so far. However factor in that Christopher Robin appears to have had a sex change and now wants to be called Darby and all of a sudden it could scar kids for life

Well it’s that time of the year where I get older and am now just one year away from being really old and my life being over.

And as expected I got a nice invisible bottle of JD from my tightwad of a father which there are some lovely photos of me drinking below.

In accordance with Aim One this month I am now obliged to release the following information

“Steven Thorp had an affair with his friends wife during 1996. The affair ended when she was diagnosed with cancer from which she sadly died in 1997″

Further information (possibly including names for the search engine spiders to pick up and index) may be released following Alex’s birthday on 27th of this month

Invisible JD Anyone

Glug Glug Glug

So once again I have become criminal scum and this time not because of hacking off a security tag that was mistakenly left on. No now it’s petty theft (well almost).

Was shopping in Sainsburys today and as we have two single prams we put the shopping on the back of the prams where the hood is folded up. So we get to the checkout and pay for the goods and leave the store. Then we notice some cheese and mozzarella still under the hood.

Fortunately being honest people we return and pay for them so no harm done!