Dave Thorp's Blog

A tad late but lets check on our aims

Aim One

Aim one is to take a moment out to just reflect on the fact that a great TV personality who has made a great contribution to the entertainment of the UK is likely to die of cancer this month….. what’s that….. Wendy Richard died last month…. BUGGER!

Aim Two

Aim two is to solve all of this countries current problems by bringing back Nazi style gas chambers, installing them in the studio for the Jeremy Kyle Show and then feeling safe in the knowledge that not only have we eliminated a useless part of the UK population but we have also eliminated Kyle himself.

Aim Three

Aim Three  is to chop the arms off anyone still complaining about CBeebies presenter Cerrie Burnell and see how they like it

Aim Four

Aim four is to launch a new incredibly popular website called Meerkat in a blender and put the Meerkat from the compare the meerkat adverts into a blender live for the sites launch

Aim Five

Aim five is to avoid watching Comic Relief as the sight last week of Jo Brand dressed as Britney Spears from the Baby One More Time Video is enough to mentally scar anyone for life

Well it’s that time where we see just how many predictions Nosty got right and if he’ll be able to enjoy roasting his easter eggs on his very own barbecue. Just two out of three right is all he needs from last months predictions

Prediction one was David Thorp will receive an invisible bottle of Jack Daniels and Alexander Thorp will receive an invisible aeroplane from a member of their family for their birthdays….. and yep they did. What thoughtful gifts!

Prediction two was This site will generate no search hits for female Deal or No Deal contestants during the month of February…. and within a matter of hours nosty had got that wrong

Prediction three was The river of blood will boil and then the vampires will feed on the earth…. errrr WRONG!

So will he win next month? Do we even care? Well here are next months predictions anyway

Prediction One

Jade Goody will die this month

Prediction Two

The daily mail will be offended by a one legged, two headed, five breasted childrens TV presenter. No one else will be though

Prediction Three

The city of Cardiff will sink into the sea