Time once again to check on our aims

Aim One

Aim one is to see if any shops do Father’s dad card for crappy absent fathers who care about no one but themselves after all that’s why they haven’t bothered about either of their grandchildren for the best part of a year (well one of them more or less since birth). Actually sod it why waste my time and money!

Aim Two

Aim two is to accept bribes from any of the political parties to vote for them in the forthcoming elections. After all they’ll be able to add it to their expenses wont they?

Aim Three

Aim three is to solve the extreme heatwave we are having at the moment by moving into the freezer

Aim Four

Aim four is to round up a bunch of freaks and lock them into the confines of a very small house…. wait it seems like channel 4 will be taking care of that one for us

Aim Five

Aim five is to commemorate the axing of Gladiators by sky one by making it clear that Inferno, Enigma, Tempest and Siren are welcome round here any time if they are short on things to do now

Well we had a barbecue on Saturday. Might as well get some use out of it as Nostradamus seems intent on not winning it. Lets see how he did this month

Prediction one was “Star wars and the lord of rings will both be released on Blu Ray”………. Nah they’ve not done that… perhaps they are worried they wont sell

Prediction two was “Alistair Darling will dress up as Robin Hood and Gordon Brown will dress up as Maid Marion for a fancy dress party”….. nope though if they had have done they could have put the costume hire on their expenses

Prediction three was “Page 3 idol will be won by an ugly 50 year old covered in tattoos”…….. I’m pleased to say the judges eliminated anyone who shouldn’t have bothered to enter from the competition pretty early on and whilst the winner is yet to be announced, if there is any justice in the world it will be won by the gorgeous India from Reading who is the sexiest thing since Keeley Hazell to come out of that competition

So a duck for Nosty means he wont be enjoying a barbecue in this sweltering heat. But maybe next month…..

Prediction One

In a landslide victory, Labour will win every seat up for grabs in the elections

Prediction Two

A bunch of normal people will be locked in a house together on TV and they will all get on and acomplish any task set of them without failure or argument

Prediction Three

David Thorp will be the only member of the Thorp family to receive a fathers day card from a blood relative

Stewards Enquiry

A stewards enquiry has had to be called with regards Nostradamus’ predictions for last month, in particular prediction three which read “Page 3 idol will be won by an ugly 50 year old covered in tattoos”. Since the posting of this month’s aims the winner has been announced and was Kelly from Daventry. Now whilst she is neither ugly, 50 or covered in tattoos, it has to be said that she is nowhere near as hot as India from Reading. As such it may as well have been won by an ugly 50 year old covered in tattoos as the person who most deserved to win, in fact didn’t. As such we will give Nostradamus the benefit of the doubt on that prediction and indeed award him a point for it.

Of course as he still hasn’t got two out of three right he still doesn’t win the Barbecue. Still can’t win them all! Oh and if India needs any comforting following her defeat I’m more than willing to help!