Dave Thorp's Blog

Just eat are giving customers a whopping £5 off a takeaway but it’s only valid today Tuesday 18th August 2009. Simply order your takeaway and use voucher code SPECIAL5

Code expires at 23:59 tonight. Enjoy!

Time once again to check on our aims

Aim One

Aim one is to take the opportunity to remind people that it is not Christmas. It’s effing August. There is still a full four and a half months until the ghastly fabrication of Christians and the greeting card industry

Aim Two

Aim two is solve the issue of microsoft being unable to bundle internet explorer in the european release of windows 7 by forcing them to bundle firefox, a vastly superior browser

Aim Three

Aim three is to insist that the organisers of Rock in the Park get another hot female singer to perform now Pixie Lott has pulled out. Ideally a naked hot female singer!

Aim Four

Aim four is to insist that the Deal or No Deal producers show episodes with hot women in rather than old biddies for their classic show specials this month

Aim Five

Aim five is to cheer on England who may well win back the Ashes this series looking at the current form. Or at least force a draw if it dont stop bloody raining

Time to check on last months predictions and see if Nosty has got just two out of three right to win the coveted barbecue

Prediction one was “The temperature in the UK will drop below freezing point at some point this month”……. whilst its not been as blisteringly hot as it was in June it’s certainly not been freezing

Prediction two was “Andy Murray will win the men’s singles at Wimbledon”…. and I’m afraid Andy seems to be suffering from Tim Henman syndrome, a rare condition that prevents people from getting past the semi finals in wimbledon.

Prediction three was “The live feed will be restored to big brother just in time for Sophie and Karly lezzing up (I can dream)”….. it was a long shot and now Karly has been evicted and is appearing in mens magazines available in a shop near you it seems even more unlikely

So a duck for Nostradamus means no barbecue this month but lets take a look at next months predictions. Two out of three wins a nice shiny barbecue

Prediction One

England will win the ashes

Prediction Two

Scientists will discover that bacon sandwiches do indeed cure swine flu leaving vegetarians to die from what is essentially just a sniffle

Prediction Three

There will be no pain or suffering in the world