Dragons Den – The Drinking Game 2011 edition

Dragons den is set to return to our screens tomorrow night and what better way to celebrate then updating my drinking game where you drink copious amounts of alcohol everytime something predictable happens. So drink the required amount of alcohol everytime one of these events happens

Camera goes absolutely crazy on shots of Evan – 1 finger each time the camera moves (I accept no responsibility if you run out of alcohol in the first two minutes of the show…. which you will)

The bad music (you know the one, the one that goes der der der der der der der) plays during a pitch – 1 finger

Pitch involves any form of costume – 1 finger

Pitch involves someone singing – 1 finger

Close up shot of piles of money on a table – 1 finger

Pitcher stutters or otherwise displays nerves or becomes flustered at any point during the pitch or questioning – 1 finger

Pitcher has sold their home, re mortgaged, given up work or otherwise placed their entire future security at risk to pursue their idea – 1 finger

Pitcher has sold their home, re mortgaged, given up work or otherwise placed their entire future security at risk to pursue their absolutely ridiculous idea and is sent packing by the dragons – 1 finger

A dragon offers to buy someones product – 1 finger

Peter Jones says “hi I’m Peter” despite the fact that if people didn’t know who he was they wouldn’t be on the show – 1 finger

Theo refers to Mrs P or his kids inheritance – 1 finger

Shot of Duncan looking miserable or bored – 1 finger

Shot of any dragon looking confused or puzzled – 1 finger

Deborah says she likes something – 1 finger

Duncan is the first dragon out – 1 finger

Peter is the last dragon out – 1 finger

Two or more of the dragons combine to make an offer – 1 finger

Two or more of the dragons get into an argument over a pitchers figures – 1 finger

Two or more of the dragons get into an argument over a pitchers figures neither of whom are Duncan – 2 fingers

Hilary says “hello I’m Hilary” – 2 fingers

Bad music plays in a pitch even though nothing bad has happened – 2 fingers

An invention fails to work – 2 fingers

Theo breaks an invention – 2 fingers

Duncan gets out of his chair to try out an invention – 2 fingers

Two or more rival dragons or groups of dragons make an offer – 2 fingers

An inventor gets their figures wrong – 2 fingers

An inventor is forced to call their business partner/friend/mum from downstairs to save them – 2 fingers

A pitcher rejects all offers on the table – 2 fingers

Any dragon makes an offer for more than double the equity originally offered – 2 fingers

Any dragon undercuts another dragon – 2 fingers

Duncan throws his toys out of his pram demonstrating less maturity than most preschoolers – 2 Fingers

A previously rejected inventor turns up with a new invention which is also rejected – 2 fingers

A previously rejected inventor turns up with a new invention and walks out with an investment – 3 fingers

Hilary says “hello I’m Hilary” and the pitcher looks as though they don’t have a clue who she is – 3 Fingers

Duncan makes an offer – 3 fingers

Duncan says “I cannae see this making me any money, I’m OOOOOOt” word for word – 3 fingers

All 5 dragons make an offer (in teams or solo) – 4 fingers

Hilary says “Ee By Gum” – 4 fingers

Any dragon makes an offer involving giving up half of the business and/or the blood of the pitchers firstborn child – 4 fingers

James Caan, Doug Richard, Richard Farleigh, Rachel Elnaugh or Simon Woodroffe make an offer – down any remaining drinks and stop watching repeats on Dave

A pitcher leaves with the exact amount of money they asked for giving up the exact amount of equity they originally wanted to – down any drinks you can lay your eyes on

A dragon is talking to a boy called Merlin and sounds like John Hurt – You are watching Merlin, sober up quick whilst gazing adoringly at Morgana

One of the dragons actually breathes fire – drink some coffee and sober up quick

Enjoy and remember please drink responsibly

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