So now the point has been made what now? You would expect that Simon would see sense and decide that he cant compete with the public and make the winners song release outside of the Christmas chart race. Because I can guarantee we will be even bigger next year, especially now people know it can be done. The facebook group had close to 1 million members, only half of which actually bought the single the other half probably either only joining the group because all their facebook friends invited them or didn’t buy because they didn’t think we had a chance.

In all seriousness and without involving any mind control from Derren Brown, the X-Factor is missing a trick that would allow them to maintain dominance of the charts while leaving Christmas well alone. When they get down to say the final 6 contestants, record and release a song from each finalist and then scrap the phone vote and let downloads decide who gets eliminated each week.

Simon Cowell makes more money as he gets six songs in the charts all selling in their thousands for a space of 4 weeks. There’s no need to release a winners song as the revenue from these downloads over the course of 4 weeks or so should keep Simon in impossibly high trousers for another year and more importantly, the Christmas Chart can get back to what its meant to be about (and what Simon claimed to be saving us from), Christmas Songs, Novelty Records and Sir Cliff!

But there are much simpler ways they can save money. The X-Factor is known to cost them a small fortune which they make back from selling advertising revenue to any stores selling very high pairs of trousers. However, a quick look at the main goals of the show suggest a much cheaper way to achieve the same results. And here it is.

July 2010 – Hire psychological illusionist Derren Brown to film a two hour segment during which he programmes the nation to buy a song of his choosing during the week before Christmas when triggered by a word of Derren’s choosing (sheep would probably be appropriate) and to call a premium rate phone number 10 times during each showing of the segment. For arguements sake make this song a cover of the classic Christmas hit “Mr Blobby” however any other song would do

September 2010 – Start showing the pre-recorded segment every week on a Saturday Night on ITV1 and on ITV2 at any time they would normally show the X-Factor or a related spin off show

December 2010 – Go out into the streets, pick any 16-20 year old at random, drag them into a recording studio and make them record their own cover version of the classic song chosen earlier. Edit the recording so it makes it sound like the person selected can actually sing

Week before Xmas 2010 – Cut the telephone wires of any individual who is a member of a facebook group organising resistance to the X-Factor single to stop them going online and buying the protest song. Send all members of that group a package containing swine flu to prevent them going to HMV to buy it either. Release their single, get Derren Brown to issue whatever the trigger word is and behold as exactly the same result is achieved as has been in 2005-2008 (and possibly 2009), at a fraction of the cost meaning Simon can afford another 100 pairs of impossibly high trousers

In the words of another annoying individual who should be shot for crimes against humanity…… SIMPLES!

Anyone wanting to but the lovely protest single by Rage Against the Machine can do so on one of the following links

HMV

And in the interest of fair play anyone who wants the X-Factor winners single can obtain it HERE

Killing in the Name by Rage Against The Machine is this years protest song. The organisers of the facebook group are also raising money for shelter and some affiliate providers are also donating the affiliate revenue to shelter. So not only can you feel good at socking it to Simon Cowell but you can also feel good because you are actually helping some homeless people rather than walking straight past all the beggars and big issue sellers like you normally do all the rest of the year.

So go buy it. And here are some links to help you

HMV

nb I’ve updated the amazon link with the cheaper version now as it has been confirmed by the organisers of the campaign that sales of this download will count towards the chart despite the price being below the 40p limit set by the official charts company. This could be because amazon are making this track, and the x-factor track a loss leader meaning they are paying the music companies enough to warrant inclusion but actually making a loss on the track in hope that visitors to the site will buy other tracks or other items that would make amazon a profit. Tesco also have the x-factor single at 29p so it’s assumed this will also count (unfortunately)

Because what Simon Cowell has done, and it’s a fantastically brilliant plan, has spent the last three months subliminally programming the more susceptible members of the Great British Public who watch his show, into throwing away any sense of musical taste they still had and made them buy a single, not because it’s any good but because he’s programmed them to so he can rake in much more cash and buy himself a nice new pair of very high, gold lined trousers.

Nice one Britain. Good to know that most of the public are sheep under Simons control. Hell if next year he subliminally programmed you to walk off a cliff you probably would.

The really spooky thing is that prior to going to bed and hearing about his death, I was playing with the new music video’s on demand service that has been released for the playstation 3. One of the videos we watched was Thriller of course by Michael Jackson.

Internet forums I go on seem to be split as expected with lots of people focusing on the controversial aspects of his life, making inappropriate jokes about him or complaining because they have not managed to get a refund for his concerts that were due to take place at the O2 later this year before the guy has even had a chance to go cold!

Nevertheless regardless of what people are saying, there is no denying that one of the greatest musicians and entertainers of our time is sadly no longer with us and regardless of the controversial aspects of his life he will be missed by millions not least of all by his three young children, his brothers, sisters and his father. It is also pleasing to see that his music is starting to drift into the mp3 download charts.

RIP Jacko and I hope you find the peace you deserve now that you struggled to find in life

Enjoy

I am officially pleading with the nation, please don’t make this happen. 4 years running is bad enough but 5 would be too much.

During 2009 I will be selecting a song at random and starting an online campaign to get said song to number one. Please people when the time comes buy that song and not the pap Simon Cowell has banged out.

You know it makes sense!

Shame on you all…. oh and next year please lock up your eight year old daughters so some decent music has a chance to top the charts!

However this year people are fighting back by campaigning to get Jeff Buckley’s version of Hallelujah to chart higher than Alexandra Burke’s. As good as this would be as it would show Simon Cowell the British public are not sheep and are not going to buy any old tat they bash out simply because it has come from his talent(less) show. Unfortunately, the campaign is likely doomed to failure for one simple reason (well two).

Unfortunately the British public are sheep and will buy any old tat that is bashed out regardless how good it is simply because it comes from Simon Cowell’s talent(less) show. Furthermore for some time it has become increasingly clear that the UK music charts are dictated by the purchasing habits of little 8 year old girls that don’t know any better.

Pity!